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Posts Tagged ‘strong’

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When you live with a controlling husband that always makes you hang your head it’s hard to learn to look up.  Being beat up verbally for years takes its toll and it becomes natural to look at the ground.  Having someone treat you like dirt makes your feel like dirt…I struggled to gain the strength to first raise my chin and look straight ahead.  As I separated myself from Mr. Idiot and was no longer living with him I began to focus on the little things that I saw.  The positive things in my view as I walked through the nightmare of the divorce process.  As insults were thrown my way and Mr. Idiot belittled me in front of my children I would escape to the park and watch a bird in flight.  That bird was me…he was soaring…he was happy…he had a great persepective from the sky…then I noticed that I was looking up, and I wanted to feel like that bird.  So I began to think of that image daily, and would surround myself with friends that would lift me up.  My wings and my heart were broken, so it took time for me to venture out and try to fly.  I had hope.  I had hope and faith that this was not how my life would be…forever being pushed down by Mr. Idiot.  I stayed positive, I believed in myself, I believed that there were many good people out there despite what I had gone through.  I believed in karma, and staying strong in front of my kids and not talking bad about their father…which was really tough…and knew that if I continued to be the loving Mom that they knew, the lies that Mr. Idiot told would be seen.  I took the high road…he took the low and dirty road.  I became stronger and stronger, while his viciousness made him weaker and weaker.  The battle gave me scars but also toughened me up.  My confidence began to grow and then soar…just like that bird I admired.  I truly believe that what you put out in the world…negative or positive comes back to you.  I’m experiencing happiness beyond what I could ever imagine…stay strong, keep your chin up and push through the pain. Don’t ever let anyone rob you of your happiness, life is too short!

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Thank you Mr. Idiot.  I’ve grown balls, no one is going to walk all over me again. So get in my face and puff yourself up like a rooster. Doesn’t work anymore. I’m not intimidated by the weak, little man that you are. You are a big coward hiding behind your fancy words peering down at me like I’m beneath you. Sometimes I actually start to feel sorry for you…but that’s the old me who used to care about you.  That was my weak spot and you abused it.  No more Mr. Idiot. I’m a Fighter now.

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