Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘sex’

Bringing my sexy back

How can a woman that was always belittled feel good about herself again? Your self-esteem is diminished, you don’t like who you’ve become so how in the world could you ever get your sexy back? Add 20 years to your body and you would think it’s nearly impossible, but I did it. I owe this all to my first post-divorce lover…Mr. Sexy Man.

My old high school boyfriend who I felt comfortable with, who knew me before I married Mr. Idiot.  A man who was tender with me, and helped me deal with the stress of divorce by having mind-blowing hot sex. He was a Leo. Love Leos. Strong, passionate, take charge kinda man, but with romantic overtures.  Carry me off to the bedroom type of scenerios…lots of kissing, all over my body. Mr. Sexy Man was my therapist. I could spill my brain with all the shit that Mr. Idiot was putting me through then he’d give me orgasms on top of orgasms. Best damn therapy.

Our friendship and sexual adventures lasted several months, and my sexual confidence blossomed. My emotional state was still so fragile and I could feel myself falling for him.  This is where I had to stay strong and not rebound into a relationship.  So I ended it…the sexual part, but stayed friends.

My sexy was back 🙂

Read Full Post »

My old boyfriend…who I found on Facebook…and I had started this online seduction you could say.  It started with me getting up the nerve to send that body shot, he exchanged his.  He wasn’t so shy…clothing was optional you could say.  This little online seduction was getting quite hot and heavy over a few months.  Mr. Idiot had been gone out of the house for awhile but I was still married on paper…divorce papers were served and the process was started but legally I was married.  I wont lie, this added an element of excitement to the whole scenario going on in my head at this point. If I was going to see him I’d be sneaking over…the last thing I needed was for anyone to find out and tell Mr. Idiot. Ironically Mr. Sexy Man’s place was a few blocks from some now-ex relatives.

I finally decided to see him.  I was a bundle of nerves…and hormones…and I started the process of getting ready for the “date”. I showered, shaved, scrubbed, softened…sprayed a sexy scent all over my body and dressed. What to wear? Skin tight jeans, and a sexy sleeveless, bra-less top… and a pearl necklace that he had given me when I was 16.

In the car now cruising down the highway…nervous…excited…and on the radio is “Riding Solo” by Jason Derulo, perfect.  When he greets me on his stairs in the dark I already feel that spark coming back…I follow him into his house.

He notices the necklace right away, then we sit together on the couch watching TV.  It doesn’t take long before he grabs my hand…then we kiss, and I melt.  Wham, bam, that chemistry is just as strong as it was when we were teenagers. Goodbye. The music is now on, the candles lit…things Mr. Idiot never did…I’m following him into his bedroom.

Wow…yep, it was everything I had remembered with him and more.  He was a man now and man did he know how to please a woman. I drove home with a big smile on my lips that night and that begun my affair with Mr. Sexy Man.

Read Full Post »

After Mr. Idiot moved out and I was alone  for awhile I started spending more time on Facebook.  I was looking for old friends I had lost contact with while I was married and raising my kids.  I was curious too.  Who was married, who was still single, divorced, fat, bald…then I found someone who’s name I recognized from my high school days. An old boyfriend.  Hmmm….he was looking pretty good still.  Was he single??? Yes.  Then the question came…do I send a friend request? Sure, why not? So I did.

 The next day I logged in with the anticipation of a school girl looking for that little red alert that he responded.  Not only had he accepted my request, he also had sent me a private message.  Wow, he remembered me…and that’s how my first step back into single-hood began.  I was not moving forward, but backwards…to a time in my life when I was happy and now I was about to relive some of those experiences, with Mr. Sexy Man.

 After talking back and forth for a few weeks he asked me to send him a picture.  He bluntly asked for a body shot…something sexy, not nude of course but so he could see how I had held up after all these years.  I had never taken photos of myself for anyone, I was treading on new turf…sexy new turf that intrigued me.  I was feeling really good about myself and how my body looked  at age forty-plus so I decided to go for it.  He wasn’t a stranger, he and I had lots of sex as teenagers.

 The first challenge was deciding what to wear.  I wanted to look alluring but not slutty…tempting but not vulgar.  I was going for the Victoria Secret look…so bra and undies it was.  Using my un-smart camera phone was tricky.  Getting the right angle by holding the phone at arms length was sometimes comical.  I decided not to use any shots that showed my face…hey if I ended up famous someday I didn’t want to  have myself plastered in the rag magazines right? Mysterious, Victoria Secret not too-slutty photo shoot was a success.  He loved them and wanted to see more…in person.

Read Full Post »

I recently was discussing my sex life with Mr. Idiot to a friend when it dawned on me how similar it was to being treated like a prostitute.  Not that I’ve ever been one, or known any women that were but strictly based on how unemotional the sex act had become.  He preferred me to do me from behind…no eye contact, no kissing.  Always wanted blow jobs…even said how he would be happy if that’s all I did.  Serve him, don’t talk, and then turn away with his back to me and go to sleep. No cuddling, no hugging, no spooning. I might as well been a prostitute to him.  Thinking back now I’m sure he’s had his share of them.  Why I stayed married to someone who wasn’t intimate and never gave me an orgasm during our lengthy marriage I still wonder.  I guess it comes down to my own self-worth.  I had been knocked down for so many years that I started to believe that this is all I deserved.  Mr. Idiot was providing me with a home, nice vacations and a decent car to drive…I had it easy he told me, while he went to his 9-5  stressful job.  If I ever complained I was told how ungrateful I was.  So I fell into the trap of guilt.  I went back to being the obedient wife.  Yes sir, I’m so grateful that you allow me to worship your golden penis.  Lucky me.

Read Full Post »