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Posts Tagged ‘after divorce’

Bringing my sexy back

How can a woman that was always belittled feel good about herself again? Your self-esteem is diminished, you don’t like who you’ve become so how in the world could you ever get your sexy back? Add 20 years to your body and you would think it’s nearly impossible, but I did it. I owe this all to my first post-divorce lover…Mr. Sexy Man.

My old high school boyfriend who I felt comfortable with, who knew me before I married Mr. Idiot.  A man who was tender with me, and helped me deal with the stress of divorce by having mind-blowing hot sex. He was a Leo. Love Leos. Strong, passionate, take charge kinda man, but with romantic overtures.  Carry me off to the bedroom type of scenerios…lots of kissing, all over my body. Mr. Sexy Man was my therapist. I could spill my brain with all the shit that Mr. Idiot was putting me through then he’d give me orgasms on top of orgasms. Best damn therapy.

Our friendship and sexual adventures lasted several months, and my sexual confidence blossomed. My emotional state was still so fragile and I could feel myself falling for him.  This is where I had to stay strong and not rebound into a relationship.  So I ended it…the sexual part, but stayed friends.

My sexy was back 🙂

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Just had my 5 year anniversary of freedom. My old life seems like a dream, a bad dream…a sad dream.  I don’t recognize the girl I was back then. Fearful, cowardly, spineless.  Willing to please that man no matter how badly he treated me.  The changes in me are not just emotional.  Physically I’m a different person.  I didn’t realize this until I came across some old pictures.  I’ve gone through a total metamorphosis. Emerged a beautiful butterfly that flutters from flower to flower in her garden of happiness.

I’d almost forgotten about this blog.  I’m actually surprised it even has any hits since I abandoned it.  Makes me wonder how many other women are searching for freedom from a bad marriage, or support through a nasty divorce.  I feel for them.  I want to reach out through my experiences and help if I can by honestly sharing my story.

My new life stories could fill a book, or two.  I’ve lived adventurously, with no fear and dived right into life like a child seeing the world for the first time.  I’ve meet the most interesting people, men and women with stories of their own.  I’ve grown into a woman I’m proud to be.  I look in the mirror now and like who is staring back at me.  I’ve learned how to love myself.

Don’t ever give up hope.  Be brave, be strong.  Don’t stay for your kids they will be better off.

I’ll be back soon to tell a few of my stories of my dating adventures 🙂

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